Parenting Reflections

1) Parenting is one of the hardest things that you have to do in life. I said something to this effect to my new neighbors and their friends. One problem: they are in the Marines. None of them have children themselves, some have possibly seen war firsthand, and I didn't realize what I was saying until after the words were out of my mouth. Didn't get much of a response from them -maybe a few brief "are you crazy" looks. As I have thought about it after the fact, I feel it is still true. I didn't mean to compare what they do as soldiers to parenting in anyway - you can't really. The reality of parenting is that it is constant (24/7). There is no slack. There is no time in which you aren't thinking and/or aware of the situations and dangers. That is what makes it so hard. I am sure there are other things that would compare to this in some way...I just find myself challenged at this particular time.

2) It is easy to feel like you are not doing a good job as a parent. I see this with other parents and this is one of the main reasons that I created this blog. We all need encouragement in this area of life. We can compare ourselves to those we see as being "super-parents" or compare our childrens poor behavior or competance with "super-kids". Ultimately this is a fruitless endeavor. In keeping with Reflection #1, I think one of the ways that you succeed as a parent is showing up everyday for "work." Being the constant that children of all ages need. We all need encouragement...keep this in mind as you interact with parents (that doesn't mean you lie to someone who needs to be spurred on or who is truly neglecting their responsibility).

3) Parenting is fun. So many of the things that get us laughing are the fun and funny things said and done by our children. Ethan is done with his speech therapy and is talking all the time now. I continue to be amazed by the things that he has to say. Like her father, Kara craves onions. Anytime we are chopping onions, Kara makes her way to request/beg/scream for some onion. Amazing! These things, more than anything, are what keep us going. It is a joy to see our children grow. To see how they learn from us as we teach them to pray, to share, to love, to laugh and sing. Some of it comes naturally...some of it has to be nurtured.

Gilead

I recently completed reading the 2004 Pulitzer Prize winner for Fiction. Gilead by Marilynne Robinson is a beautiful book whose main character is a elderly pastor and father of a young child. The book is comprised of entries into a journal meant to be read by the main characters son. The book starts a little slow as it doesn't rely on normal plot devices and story telling. It is more a story of this man's heart. There were several points during my reading when I would stop to read a section to Lydia because I had been gripped by what had been written. I think I connected with the main character both because of his vocation and his clear love for his son, although that connection is not necessary for the enjoyment of this book. See more in depth reviews by following the link above (to Amazon).

Brief Update & Movies

I am way overdue for a post...it's hard to believe that over a month has gone by without a post. In June, I apparently got sucked into the vortex of summer/church life. Not a bad thing, but I have been a little weary after the last three weeks. Now on to some thoughts...

Discerning what movies you should let your children watch can be a difficult decision. The best case scenario is for the parent(s) to see the movie first and then determine if a child should see the movie. This is not always possible...may not even be close to possible (especially with movies just released in the theaters). So, what do you do?
Here are a few ideas:

1) Follow the rating guidelines generally. Allow younger children to see G; pre-teens to see PG; and teens to see PG-13. R-rated movies should be handled individually on their merit. That said, do not use the rating system as a way of avoiding the need to assess the content of a film or the maturity level of a child. Secondly, the ratings themselves are general and therefore may not tell you all that you need to know.
2) Research: read reviews and seek out info about the films your children are interested in. Every Friday, I get an email from Screenit that gives me a brief review, synopsis, and content break-down of the movies that are being released in the theaters or on video that week. More detailed information is available on their website, including the exact number of times cuss words are used (I have always imagined a guy with a clipboard in the theater keeping count...makes me laugh). Ransom Fellowship (publishers of Critique) also provides reviews of movies, but may have less info on content and more on meaning.
3) You can always use movies and the desires of your children to see certain movies as discernment exercises. Talk with your children both before and after a movie about what they want to see or what they have seen. In doing so, we have an opportunity to show how Christ and Christianity relates to all of life (beyond our mere categorization of culture).
4) Don't be afraid to make a mistake...especially with teenagers. Letting them decide may help become better decision makers in the future. But, you have to be willing to follow-up without condemnation.

I will conclude by saying that I have learned to not make recommendations of movies. The things that strike me or bother me, may be different than what hits you (good or bad). I also don't always have the same perspective. So, I don't mind speaking about movies, including those I like or dislike, but don't take it as recommendation.